Words can do more damage than any strap. This is a way of telling you that intelligence has more power than force. Here you will find phrases that parents use very often and do not insult directly, but they do not serve to educate either, so you must exclude them from your vocabulary.
1. “Do not cry”
With this phrase you are teaching children that crying is bad. This will lead them to be adults who do not handle their feelings well, they will not know how to control their emotions.
2. “Can’t you do the same thing that this other child does?”
Having role models, is not wrond, but each child is unique and saying that someone has to be like other person is harmful to both, because it is implied that one is better. With your attitude you could lower their self-esteem.
3. “I promise you” “I swear I will do that, be there”
It is not wrong to give your word that you will do something because if you deliver that teaches children what commitment is. The problem comes when you promise something and then you do not fullfill. The message that the child receives is disastrous, because you break their trust completely.
4. “But how can you be afraid?”
That you do not fear and another person does, does not mean that you can ridicule them. If your child is afraid of something, you must help him overcome it day by day, little by little, find a way to make it rational. Do not make him feel weak.
5. “Shut up!”
It is not a phrase that you use to address any adult with whom you want to have a good relationship, your children do not deserve that imperative either.
6. “Because I say so”
When you jump from authority to authoritarianism you lose the ability to be fair and to deserve respect. In your son you will provoke indignation, for the simple fact of not knowing how to listen to their point of view, they could react with rebellion.